Thursday, May 21, 2015

Writer's Voice Entry


Query:

Dear Writer's Voice,

Makenna Reid has never had a best friend, finished two grades in the same school, or lived in a house without wheels. In her eleven years as a Coast Guard brat, Mack has learned not to get too close to anything or anyone—until her family is transferred to Seward, Alaska (a.k.a. The Armpit of the Universe) and she moves in across the street from Travis O’Connell.

Travis and his sisters are living Mack’s worst nightmare, a parent lost at sea. When Mack overhears a fisherman who miraculously survived a terrible accident raving about “the seal people,” she comes to suspect that the icy waters of Resurrection Bay are hiding a secret—one that may be connected to the disappearance of Travis’s father. She becomes determined to uncover the truth and restore her friend’s family. As they search for answers together, Travis and the other residents of Bear Lake RV Park help Mack tear down the walls around her heart and begin to carve out a place in the world for herself.

When tragedy strikes again, Mack and Travis undertake a dangerous rescue to save someone they both love. If they succeed, they might both find the thing they want most in the place they least expected.

Complete at 50,000 words, TRUE NORTH is a middle-grade novel with a touch of magical realism. I am a reformed Coast Guard brat turned middle school librarian, and I lived for two years in the small Alaska town where TRUE NORTH is set. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Wendy Daughdrill

   

First 250:
  The first thing I notice about Alaska is the dog poop. It's all over everything, filling the ditches and studding the piles of gritty snow that line the curb. Gross. I unbuckle my seatbelt and stand up between my parents in the front seats of the van, trying to get a better look at the place that will be my home for the next two years. I pull off my headphones and let them dangle around my neck.
    I have the weirdest feeling that we have driven through a portal into a black-and-white movie. All the color has somehow leached out of the world, leaving everything varying shades of gray. Gray streets lined with gray buildings slope down toward the icy waters of Resurrection Bay. On every side, slate-colored mountains rise against the cloudy sky, and all over the ground the remains of the winter snow slump into heaps of grimy slush. Welcome to Seward, Alaska, population 1,863. It definitely does not look like the brochure.
    "No way," I say. "I am not living here."
    Daddy sighs. "It's not like I have a choice, Makenna. You know how this works."
    Unfortunately, I exactly know how this works. I have done this every two years my entire life. We go where the Coast Guard sends us, whether we like it or not.
    "Don't panic yet," Mama says. "Maybe the campground will be nicer."

    Doubtful. I can tell from the way her smile looks strained and fake that she doesn't really believe that either.

12 comments:

  1. I think my last comment got swallowed up so I'm posting again. I like that you've used your personal experience as a Coast Guard brat for this story. Good luck in the contest! (Are you on Twitter, btw? I Tweeted at someone with your name yesterday - was that you??)

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    1. Yes, that was me! Aren't you are the sweet person who took the time to find me on Twitter to tell me my link was not working? Thanks again! :)

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    2. No problem - glad to be of help! There are updates on my blog about coach picks and a breakdown of the entries, if you're interested. :o)

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  2. Hi, Wendy! Quick question: how many other contests has TRUE NORTH been in, and about how many of #TheWVoice agents have already seen it, either in other contests or in their query inboxes? Thanks!

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    1. I entered Pitch Wars last year, but I did not get picked by a mentor. That is the only contest this ms has been in. I put it aside for a while after that and have not started querying yet, so none of the agents have ever seen it. Sorry I took so long to reply. I was trying not to peek until June 1!

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    2. Thanks for this reply! And I don't blame you for trying not to peek--I probably would have done the same thing:)

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  3. This is great! I love stories dealing with a child's struggle for a sense of home and place, and can relate to the moving-every-two-years pattern!

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  4. I love the setting and the situation. The possibility of fantasy intruding on this place intrigues me. Good luck!
    Connie

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  5. I am already drawn in by the MC's tone. I can see where this MG might appeal to other military kids as well as those who enjoy mysteries. Good Luck!

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  6. I want you! I know you were probably bummed when you didn’t make it into Pitch Wars last year, but their loss is my gain:) Your query sets up a really intriguing story, and I was immediately drawn in by the seamless writing in the first page. Description is tough, and you did a great job of both painting a picture and weaving Mack’s voice into it.

    I think the last part of the query is a little vague, so if we can insert some specifics (without giving too much away!), I think it will make this concept even more intriguing. Also, while the description’s truly lovely, I can’t help but wonder if there’s a more dynamic scene that we could start with, then weave this description back through the first chapter. But since I always take a look at the first few pages of my teammates’ projects, we’ll have plenty of time to figure that out!

    Contemporary middle grade is one of my all-time favorite genres, and I would LOVE to have you and TRUE NORTH on my team, so pick me, pick me! Once I post these comments, I have to step away from my computer for a few hours to get my kids ready for school, so if the other coaches try to swoop in here and steal you (and I won’t be at all surprised if they do), please give me some time to offer a rebuttal before you make a decision.

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    1. I'm in! Yay! Go team Maries! I am so excited about working with you and can't wait to get started!

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